


Sweet Despair

by punkbread



Category: Eldarya (Video Game)
Genre: Ashkore can't stay out of it, Ezarel suffering a bit, F/M, Gardienne suffering a bit MORE, Huang Hua involved, Let's see if I stick with this, Neither can Leiftan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-12-15
Packaged: 2019-02-03 04:17:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12740844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkbread/pseuds/punkbread
Summary: After a failed attempt to poison Huang Hua at the temple, Ashkore must attempt to regroup. But Ezarel is out with a vengence because of who was harmed in Huang Hua's place.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I've changed Gardienne's name to Corina (not my name on Eldarya) in order to make it more... story like? So just a heads up. This will contain spoilers for episode 17, which I know isn't out on the English site yet but I've already heard spoilers and it inspired this.  
> Also please feel free to send short prompts to my tumblr: goodnightgalaxy. I need some inspiration for some stuff.

Ezarel leaned against the railing of the small stairwell, watching as Nevra stumbled from his room with a member of the Absynthe guard.  
“Seriously?” he muttered under his breath, crossing his arms. “Yo, Nev, how much blood did you drink? You’re hurting my guards.”  
“I know my limit,” Nevra assured him, holding up a defensive hand as the girl leaned herself against him.  
“Do you know your limit for someone who’s anemic?” Ewelein questioned, coming around the corner. She took one look at the girl and sighed, rubbing the back of her neck. “Honestly, Nevra, you need to be more mindful. Not everybody can handle the amount you sometimes take.”  
“Shouldn’t you be in the infirmary?” Nevra asked, quirking an eyebrow.  
“I was actually sent to come and get you,” Ewelein admitted. “A mission just came in, and a member of your guard came back hurt, I need some paperwork done.”  
“No missions were supposed to end today,” Nevra said, knitting his brow together in confusion. “Which one ended early?” He helped the girl into her room and shut the door behind her, giving her a small wave.  
“It was the mission at the FeungHeung temple,” Ewelein said. Ezarel reacted immediately, pushing himself from the railing and taking a few large strides towards Ewelein.  
“Corina was on that mission,” he stated. Ewelein merely nodded, suddenly refusing to make eye contact. “Ewe, who from the Shadow Guard was hurt? Was it her?” His mind was already racing, his heart pounding violently in his chest.  
“Ezarel, I need Nevra to come with me right now,” she remarked. “You can come and see her later, but she desperately needs the rest right now.” His stomach dropped, and before either of his two comrades could stop him, he was running through the hallways at a breakneck speed. Past her bedroom, past the crystal room, into the hall of doors, up the steps. He had all but burst through the door.  
“Corina!” he cried, scanning the beds to find her. Where could she be? What had happened to her? What if something terrible was happening? He should have never let her go on this mission, he should have talked to Nevra and Miko to talk them out of it. He should have insisted to Huang Hua when he had the chance, but he was so passive on the subject. She had been so excited, he couldn’t take that from her.  
His eyes landed on her in the bed, her brown hair in a pool around her. He moved across the room, nearly knocking someone else over in the process, and was on in his knees at her bedside in seconds. He took one of her hands in his own, uncaring for how clammy they were in her sickened state.  
“Corina?” he questioned, hopelessly. “Corina, can you hear me?” He watched her face, hopeful for some sort of movement. If she would just squeeze his hand, flutter her eyes, something. Something to let him know she was still there. But there was nothing, just her laboured breathing. As if she were sleeping.  
“Corina, it’s Ezarel,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “It’s Ez, I’m here, please wake up. Please.” He tried to hold back the pleading tone in his voice as best he could, but it persisted, slipped out.  
“Ez, she’s not going to wake up for a while,” Nevra said, entering the room. “There’s still poison working it’s way out of her system.”  
“Poison?” Ezarel questioned incrediously, looking toward his friend. “Someone poisoned her?”  
“It wasn’t an attempt on her, it was an attempt on Huang Hua,” Ewelein stated.  
“But she still ended up hurt!” Ezarel said, his voice louder than he meant it to be. “Was it something at least treatable? Was there an antidote?”  
“Yes, everything is fine, but she needs to rest,” Ewelein stated calmly. “If you aren’t going to be quiet to let that happen, you’ll have to leave. Pace outside like a lost dog if you must, but my patience need rest. You acting like this won’t help any of them, and certainly not Corina.”  
He looked back at her, unable to calm the terror that was flooding over him. Finally he nodded, standing up. He leaned over the bed, pressing a soft kiss to the girls temple.  
“I won’t be far,” he assured her before directing his attention back to Ewelein. “Please, please, Ewe, let me know when she’s up. Or if her condition worsens.”  
“Ezarel, I—“  
“Ewelein, please,” he begged. Ewelein sucked in a sharp breath, noting something different about Ezarel’s body language and the way his bright blue-green eyes seemed to be filled to the brim with an unearthly terror.  
“I will,” she assured him. “You’ll be the first to know.”  
“I’m her guard leader,” Nevra defended, throwing up a hand. “I need to know when my—“  
“Nevra, stop,” Ewelein said. “Ezarel, go take a walk. I’ll let you know immediately if anything happens to her.”

**oOo**

**_Corina’s POV_ **

The light burned my eyes as I struggled to open them.  
“Huang… Hua?” I muttered, struggling to take note of where I was. This room wasn’t in the temple, and was almost sterile in it’s colouring.  
“Corina,” a voice said from nearby. I turned my head slowly, wincing at the ache in my neck. Ewelein looked to me, relieved. “Someone, quick, send word out to the boys!” She didn’t waste any time, going over my vitals and asking me how I was feeling. My answers were short, choppy, as I attempted to wake up from the sudden sleep. Finally, I mustered up the strength to sit up.  
“Ewelein, why am I here? What happened?” I questioned weakly.  
“Don’t worry about that right now,” Ewelein said. “Just focus on getting some rest. Are you up for visitors at all?” I nodded weakly, and sat up with Ewelein’s help. She hollered over to the door and Ezarel rushed in, panic in his eyes.  
“Ezarel,” I whispered, breathlessly, trying to control the childlike grin that broke out on my face when I saw him. He cupped my face in his hands, looking over me as if to check if I was all there.  
“Are you okay? Do you remember what happened? Do you need anything?” he asked, stumbling over his words.  
“I’m fine, really,” I whispered to him breathlessly. “I don’t really remember much after Huang Hua asked me to join her for lunch. Then I woke up here.”  
“Do we have people looking into the attack?” Ezarel questioned, not looking over at Nevra or Valkyon but instead keeping his eyes trained on me.  
“Yes,” Nevra confirmed. “They should be getting back to us with information soon.”  
“Good. Keep me updated. Once Corina is well enough to travel, we’ll be finishing this the right way,” Ezarel said darkly, looking back at the others.  
“Ez,” I muttered.  
“No,” he said, looking to me. “I said I’d protect you no matter what, I didn’t do that while you were at the temple. So now, I’m going to fix this. By whatever means necessary.”


	2. Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Guardienne allows herself to spy with Karenn, and the things she hears suggest something more from Ezarel then she'd initially think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the support on the prologue! Sorry these chapters are all so short, I'm just writing them when I have a free moment in order to destress from exams. It's just kind of a fun, not-so-serious fanfiction, and I'm glad some people are enjoying it! Who knows, maybe some good chapters will come out over Christmas break?

“I can’t approve of this mission, Ezarel,” Miiko said flatly, crossing her arms. “The guard won’t be funding it. It’s a wild goose chase.”  
“Someone tried to poison a member of this guard, and you’re willing to turn a blind eye to it?” Ezarel asked, pacing anxiously across the floor. Miiko’s eyes followed him, unnerved. It was entirely unlike Ezarel to act in such a manner. Attempting to ask for better rations for his guard was one thing, but to assist a member of Nevra’s guard on a task like this… no, something was wrong. Something about this was hitting Ezarel harder than it should.  
“Ezarel, we’ve lost a member of the guard recently. I can’t risk the man power, or you,” Miiko insisted. “I need you to stop looking at this blindly and focus on the bigger picture. Ashkore and Leiftan know gaps in our defences, they know about missions and food storage locations, it’s dangerous. We need to handle this as quickly as possible, and we can’t do that if you’re off traipsing about in an attempt to make up for a stupid kiss that you feel bad about!” I watched from my hiding spot with Karenn as Ezarel paused, his hands clenching at his sides.  
“You really think that it just has to do with making up for the potion?” Ezarel questioned.  
“Ezarel, I honestly believe that if this didn’t have to do with Corina, you wouldn’t give a becolas ass about it,”Miiko said. Karenn looked to me, attempting to gauge a reaction, but I kept my face stoic. I wanted to hear what he had to say, needed to know if what Miiko was saying was true.  
All tension left his shoulders and he looked away from her, ashamed. Something squeezed tight in my chest. “Why is it so wrong to try and protect her?”  
“Because she doesn’t need protecting,” Miiko assured him. “She’s capable of protecting herself, she’s more than shown that. She can come up with and execute a plan easily, she is capable, Ezarel. Give her a chance, and she’ll blow any expectations you have of her out of the water.”  
“She’s capable, but that doesn’t mean she should have to do it alone. Not when the person that did this is still out there,” he said, throwing an arm behind him as if to gesture to the entire world. An entire world filled with people who wanted the little human girl for terrifying reasons.  
There was a stretch of silence that made me hold my breath in terror of being spotted.   
“Draw up a new proposal. Just going all the way to the temple to go after someone when you don’t even know who it is won’t help. Keep in mind that it was most likely targeted to Huang Hua,” Miiko said, looking him directly in the eye. “I’ll give you a day. There’s a smarter way to draw this up, and you overlooked it. While I appreciate the honesty, it won’t help you accomplish anything.” She waved him off, turning back to her work. Quietly, myself and Karenn managed to sneak out, stumbling our way into the hall and back toward my room.  
“She must feel really guilty for what she did to you if she’s willing to give Ezzie a second chance for that proposal,” Karenn sighed.  
“Apparently so,” I muttered, adjusting the collar of my shirt. “I don’t… think I’m okay with any of this.” Karenn patted me hard on the back, sending me stumbling forward a step.  
“If that has anything to do with the primary suspect for the poisoning, I wouldn’t worry too much about that,” she assured me. “Ashkore and Lieftan always worked closer to HQ, right? It’s doubtful either of them moved that far away from here in order to attack Huang Hua.”  
While she certainly had a point, something about it still didn’t sit right with me. It weighed down on my shoulders, causing an ache in my chest that wouldn’t let up. “I don’t think that’s entirely the case. Lieftan knew about this trip for me, he knew I would be there.”  
“You really believe he would aim to hurt Huang Hua in front of you? As if to hurt you?” Karenn questioned. “He may have committed treason, but I don’t think he would have it in him to hurt you, Corina. He cares about you, in his own strange way.” Of that she was right, but it was his “strange way” of caring for me that made me believe he might consider doing something like this.  
“Karenn, he’s like Adam Taurus. He might just want to hurt everyone I love in some weird attempt to show he cares.”  
“I have no idea who that is,” Karenn said, rolling her eyes.  
“The point is… he may act righteous and think he’s doing the right thing, but at the end of the day, he’s not. He’s destroying lives, he’s terrorizing people,” I clarified, taking in a deep breath. “I want him and Ashkore stopped. Even if I have to do it myself.”  
Karenn took pause, studying my face carefully. “You know, it’s a suicide mission. Trying to do that all by yourself.”  
“Not by myself, I have people who would help. It’s just a matter about waiting for the right opportunity. I can’t try this before the right time hits, because without it any support I have can’t act either,” I said. There was a long moment of quiet.  
“I support you,” Karenn said. “I’d support you at the right time, given the chance.”  
“I know,” I whispered, thankful for her kindness towards me. Karenn may be a gossip, but she was also a good friend. She cared, endlessly, for the people around her.  
“Go ahead and get some rest. You shouldn’t be moving around so much,” she advised. “I’m going to check and see how Allie and her sister are doing.”  
I waved good bye and resigned to my bedroom, dropping back into the plush sheets. The dark curtains blocked out the sunlight streaming in and I sighed gratefully as I attempted to rest before a knock came to the door. I sat back up, my body already protesting. It was craving the sleep. I crossed the room, having just barely opened the door before Ezarel had pushed it open.  
“How are you feeling?” he questioned carefully, wringing his hands in anxiety.  
“I’m feeling okay, just tired,” I told him. “I was thinking that taking a nap could be good.  
“Yeah, that sounds like it might be best,” Ezarel muttered, looking away. He raised his arm, rubbing at the back of his neck, and I found myself watching him carefully. He didn’t move to leave me to rest, so I moved to let him in.  
“Ezarel,” I said. “You didn’t mean that you were going to hurt whoever had injured me… did you?” His eyes narrowed, body tensing.  
“If they try to hurt you again—“  
“The attempt wasn’t on me in the first place. It was on Huang Hua. So why would you get so worked up over na accident? I drank from the wrong cup, they got mixed up, it could have killed a very important woman,” I tried to justify. Me getting poisoned over Huang Hua seemed like a favour, almost. I did something to protect an important friend.  
“It almost did kill a very important woman,” he stated, stepping back. He flushed, the tips of his elven ears turning slightly pink. “I mean, consider what having a human from earth in Eldarya means for a lot. You’re… a bargaining chip?” I felt my stomach twist uncomfortably. I hoped he didn’t mean that, that it was just an attempt to cover up the nicer thing he had said before.   
“Yes well… I’m sure that my race makes me important, it doesn’t do so much for the people in Eldarya as Huang Hua does,” I stated. He nodded, awkwardly.  
“If Miiko approves my report for going back there to look for information on what happened, would you be interested in being on my team?” he questioned, his eyes almost pleading with me.   
“Who else would be going?” I questioned, attempting to quell the swelling feeling in my chest.  
“Me, you, probably Nevra or Valkyon. I would assume a couple of people from the guard, and I’d try for Ewelein,” he said, attempting to regain composure.  
“Well, if Nevra is going shouldn’t I be on his team?” I tried to rationalize. “I’m in his guard, after all, it would make sense.”  
“I was thinking that you and I could be on a team, is all,” he said.   
“Is there a particular reason?” I asked.  
“We work well together,” he said, moving slightly closer to me. Close enough to touch, but not close enough to suggest anything. His eyes met mine, and they softened in a way that could easily make me jump around the room squealing from the giddiness that would take over. “Don’t you think?”  
I looked up at him, swallowing hard, and nodded. “Yeah, we kind of do.”  
“You don’t have to give me an answer now. I don’t even know if she’ll approve it,” he said. “But I just wanted to know if you would mind. I figured giving you time to think about it will be helpful.”  
“Thank you,” I muttered, tearing my eyes away from him. The heat rose up my face, and he let himself out. Why did I just feel as if he had confessed to me?


	3. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ezarel's plans are moving forward, but Karenn has other ideas in mind. Corina is still healing from the events of the past months, and Ez is hopeful that someday he'll be worthy of her forgiveness.

“A major power within Eldarya had been attacked,” Ezarel started. “Huang Hua had been nearly poisoned. The death of her would have been a major blight on the nation, something we can’t ignore.” He found pause for a second, taking out a cup. The same cup that I had drank from that day. “Testing the traces of poison that had been present in the cup had proved that the poison used was actually atophan. Hence why it took approximately twenty-four hours before Corina showed signs of poisoning. Once the initial signs were down, she was rushed back to HQ and with Ewelein’s knowledge, she has fully recovered. According to a recent test, the amount of atophan in her system is so little that she is back to full health. Had this attack Huang Hua, though, we cannot guarantee that we would be so lucky. If those that had attempted the attack on her the first time around make another move, now that we have removed some of our guard from the temple it could mean the death of Huang Hua, and the loss of an important area for us. I propose that myself, another leader of the guard, Corina, Ewelein, and a few other individuals of your choice. I was thinking, if it’s approved, that perhaps Karenn, Chrome, Alejea, and some others would be good choices, in part because of their skills, but also their relationship with Corina and therefore the better connection to Huang Hua.”  
Myself, Alejia, and Karenn watched from our usual hiding place, Alejia squeezing my hand in support as Ezarel finished his proposal. He looked firmly at Miiko, not tearing his eyes away from her. Every ounce of his joking demeanour had disappeared, and he had become too serious recently. It was almost unnerving, that he had shifted so drastically.  
“Alright,” Miiko said. “You’ll be preparing everything for this yourself, though. I’ll sign off on it. You’re going to need to figure out travel plans, and to ensure that Huang Hua was regular protection at all times. I don’t want you letting Corina run off, either, she has a habit of it and this is something that we can’t risk failing at.”  
“That’s understandable, I’ll ensure that all of your demands are met,” he nodded.  
“You’re really serious about this, aren’t you?” Miiko questioned. Ezarel nodded. “Fine then, I can only wish you luck. If this goes well, it may look good. If the suspect is one of your top two choices, then we may be capable of illuminating a major threat. Go ahead and start preparing, I’ll start working on the paper work.”  
“Thank you,” he said sincerly. “I know you know the real purpose behind this, but… thank you, for understanding how important it is that I do this.”  
“Anyway that we can atone for the mistakes we made when it came to Corina, we need to do it. There’s no way that we can just… let this slide. We took away her family, we can’t let her die like that when there’s so few to remember her.” I sucked in a breath, placing my hand over my mouth. I hadn’t thought of that. There would be no one from home to mourn me anymore.  
“That was part of my thought as well,” Ezarel admitted. “It’s not a comfort that we are mourning her when we’re nothing more than strangers to her. It’s different than her family mourning.” There was a stretch of silence before Miiko looked to him again.  
“Ezarel, do you… it’s more than regret because what you did is wrong,” Miiko said. “You feel something more about this situation, don’t you?”  
Ezarel didn’t respond, from what I could hear or see, and finally Miiko let him go. We snuck out as well, winding up back in the hall and slipping back into my room. Karenn was watching me intently. Did she have crazy vampire hearing, or something?  
“What?” I questioned, quirking an eyebrow at her.  
“Did you hear what Ezarel answered to her question?” Karenn asked.  
“Did he answer?” I questioned warily. Something deep inside of me wanted to know, but the fear was there. Karenn smirked.  
“Forget it, it was nothing major,” she said. A knock came to the door, and Allie hollered a quick ‘come in!’ The door creaked open, and Ezarel stood.  
“You three being together makes my job three times easier,” he said, smirking. “You’ve got a week, get prepped. We’re going to the Feung Huang temple.”  
“What? Why?” Karenn asked, the picture of innocence. As if we hadn’t heard the entire plan.  
“Whoever hurt Cor, they need to be dealt with before they go back to finish the job on Huang Hua,” Ezarel said. I flushed, noting the nickname. “I have to go sort through the rest of the team and start preparing for us to leave. I’ll talk to you three later, okay? Cor, dinner with me and the boys tonight?”  
“Are you sure Karuto will even be willing to feed me?” I joked, earning a smile.  
“I’ll slip you something better than gruel, I promise,” he said.  
“Honey?” I questioned, smirking at him.  
“Not on your life, Cor,” he said, before waving and walking out the door. I smiled to myself, biting my lip, before Karenn snapped in front of my face to bring me back to reality.  
“Regain composure, Cori,” she urged. “I’m gonna go shower and start figuring out a game plan.”  
“Game plan?” I questioned, becoming slightly wary. “Game plan for what? The entire mission is mapped out.”  
“Not this part of the mission, duh,” she said. “I’ll see you later!” She slipped out, Allie waving goodbye and following close behind. I plopped back onto my bed, and quickly fell asleep.

Ezarel POV

I slipped back into my room, attempting to catch my breath. Her smirking at me like that was hard to handle. I looked over at my desk, taking in the plans. I had things to look at now, and thinking of Corina wasn’t exactly going to help that.  
Tent planning was the most necessary, at the moment, because it was a pain. The sooner it was done, the sooner I could get into more important stuff, and the sooner I would know how much was needed for transport.  
I sat down in the chair pulling out paper and a writing utensil. There was no way I was going to put all of this off, even if it meant staying up till well into the night. At the very least, this was something I might almost be able to do before dinner.  
I knew the space we’d have available, and the amount of empty tents currently there thanks to the numbers Miiko had sent to me. With the supplies we had here, both myself and Nevra, who had agreed to go with me already so Valkyon could take care of things here, could have separate tents. I could easily put other people in our tents, make sure that Chrome and the other guys weren’t given separate tents from myself and Nevra but I also knew where the danger of that sat. Nevra would most definitely be taking girls back to tumble with them, and nobody wanted to deal with having that as a roommate. But if he wasn’t getting a roommate, I certainly wasn’t either. I could certainly place Corina in with me, if I wanted to, but that seemed inappropriate. I didn’t want to force her to be near me. I placed her with Karenn, Alajea and Ewelien, as it was the easiest group to keep her with.  
After two hours, the tent plans were finished, and I made my way out of my room to get dinner. I stopped outside of Corina’s door, staring at it with the urge to ask her to walk down with me. As I went to knock, the door swung open and she stepped back, startled.  
“Oh, Ez, hi,” she said, her ears flushing slightly.  
“Hey,” I smirked. “Want to walk down together?” I took her in, then. Her choppy brown hair, her deep purple eyes. It was like swimming in space, looking into them. I wanted to trace my thumb along the gentle curve of her jaw, wanted her full lips pressed against my own, to feel her wanting me. Not like the last kiss, the kiss that was barely a kiss.  
She’d never trust me enough for that.  
“Of course,” she smiled, softly, and I found myself wanting to reach for her. Nobody had ever done this to me before, had me so wrapped up in them.  
We walked to the dining hall, got our food, and with a little look from me Naruto actually gave Corina decent food. Finally, we sat down in a far corner of the hall.  
“How’s the planning for the mission going so far?” she questioned, scooping up her mashed potato.  
“Well,” I said. “Tent assignments are done. Next is planning and organizing the travel. Then it’s all down to actually going.”  
“What’s your plan once we get there?” she said, setting down her fork. “There’s already people looking into the poisoning attempt, why bother going all the way there now?”  
“Ashkore and Lieftan might think they got away with this, but I won’t let them have a moment of silence,” I told her, feeling that burning rise up in my chest.  
“What if it wasn’t them?” she muttered. “What if attempting to start that fight is worth nothing. They might not even be near the temple, they could be back up here and leaving might mean some necessary hole in our defences that lets them in. Lieftan knows everything about our security protocols and measures. Having two leaders of the guards opens us up for a major problem.”  
“We’ll be leaving Jamon and Miiko here. Valkyon is primarily staying behind to help secure the defenses. It’s also part of the reason why those come are primarily Absynthe and Shadow, not Obsidian. I’m taking the bare minimum of Obsidian to keep us fortified at the temple, but only to replace those who are coming back here anyway,” I urged. “I have this worked out, down to the tiniest detail.”  
“That doesn’t mean your plan can stick,” she reminded me. “I may not know much about the guards and how it all works, but that doesn’t stop me from worrying.”  
“I know,” I said, wanting to take her trembling hand into my own. “But it’s worth a shot.” She watched me, her deep eyes studying me meticulously. I looked back at her, allowed my eyes to travel to her lips for a split second before looking back at her eyes. It didn’t go unnoticed as she shifted slightly in her chair, looking away.  
“It’s only been two months since… Lieftan left. I think it might be best if we place our focus on getting through this as quickly as possible, so everybody can move on with their lives. Before things get worse,” I justified. “I know that you two were friends, and that it doesn’t leave time for grieving, but sometimes that’s the only way to push through this. Especially when considering it's for the masses, not just an individual.” She nodded, still not looking at me.  
“It’s weird, though. Despite the fact that he betrayed me, all of us, I don’t feel… angry. It’s like I’m all burnt out inside. There’s nothing there that’s capable of being angry anymore,” she muttered, just pushing her food around on her plate. I wanted to apologize again, but I knew it was pointless. I had done it so many times already, the words would mean nothing now. It was all found in actions.  
“I understand,” I said, nodding slightly. “After a while, it’s almost like you come to expect people betraying you. You’re more tired than angry.” She looked to me, sadly, and I knew I hit the nail on the head.  
“That’s exactly it,” she whispered. I smiled sadly at her, and she returned it, and at that moment I knew that everything I did from this point on, I wanted it to lead me right back to her.


	4. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tension brews between Corina and Ezarel. Will Ezarel be willing to come clean?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are done. Ahhhhh. I was using this as a bit of a destresser, but despite having to start working on my private works over the holidays. Also, I do know spoils for episode 18 (english server is now 2 episodes behind, I'm crying) and AHHHH! I can't wait to get that illustration and see the context bc I'm DYING.  
> Also please feel free to send short prompts to my tumblr: goodnightgalaxy. I need some inspiration for some stuff. I'll post the prompt here under a series or something.

I loaded the last of the supplies onto the back of the companion, turning back to Ez and giving him two thumbs up. He smiled back at me, giving me a thumbs down. I rolled my eyes, chuckling to myself. Karenn nudged me.  
“Hey, do you wanna ride with Chrome, or me? Me, him and Allie figured we stick together as a group,” she said.  
“Oh, ummm, I hadn’t really thought of it,” I said, glancing over at Ezarel, who was making his way over here. Karenn followed my gaze, before nodding slightly, smirking to herself.  
“I see,” she said, looking back at me, amused. “Hey, Ez, Ewelein is riding with Chrome, and I’m riding with Allie.” I looked over to her, slightly shocked. That didn’t match her previous question at all.  
“Oh, Cor, have you found someone to ride with yet?” he questioned. I shook my head, fiddling with the chain detailing on my jacket.  
“Umm, no, I haven’t,” I admitted. “I was going to see if maybe Ress still needed someone to ride with, maybe? I’m not too sure.”  
“What if you rode with me instead?” he questioned. “I mean… if you're comfortable with that? It’s happened before, so I figure it would be easy, at least.”  
“I thought you and Nevra were going to be up at the front on your own?” I said, slightly shocked.  
“Sometimes plans don’t stick,” he said. “Ress can help Nevra navigate, I’d rather ride with you anyway.” He offered up a small smile, and I returned it, my stomach twisting.  
I nodded slightly, biting my lip. “Sure, that sounds good.” His hand reached out for a second before he caught himself, pulling his arm back.  
“Let’s go,” he said, jerking his head towards his mount. 

When we finally made our way back to the temple, I found myself once again moved by the spiral towers and the gold detailing. It was the gentle curve of the archways that reminded me of the luscious town hall in my own city, the stain glass windows reminding me of a cathedral I used to walk past, always full of tourists. An ache formed in my chest, one that told me both that I missed home but also that the people around me were becoming home.  
Sometimes home isn’t a place, but a person.  
I looked over at Ezarel while he started directing the placement of the new tents. Sometimes home is a person.  
Huang Hua came out to greet us all, and she ushered me inside, coddling me and asking how I was doing.  
“Really, Huang Hua, I’m perfectly fine,” I assured her. She paused, her eyes narrowing slightly.  
“Your soul is really glowing, Cori,” she told me, a smile forming on her face. “Who did you spend so much time with that it’s doing this to you?”  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I muttered, looking away. I could feel the heat rising up my face and wished I could dip my head in ice water to stop the blush. But Huang Hua just smiled knowingly and kept walking, guiding me through the long hallways to her chambers. Her room was impressively huge, in comparison to even mine which was more than a little modest. The large door opened to a small foyer, which led into her sleeping room. From there, there was the option of a small washroom, a dressing room, and a sitting room that led into a small dining space. I couldn’t believe she had her own apartment as a bedroom, essentially.  
The room itself was ornate, covered in red and gold, fire motif, anything that brought forward her relation to the phoenix. It was comfortable, there, with her desk covered in papers and books so high that you hardly believed that there was a desk beneath it. Huang Hua moved to her bed, patting the space next to her, and smiled. I went over, sitting down beside her, and offered up a small smile.  
“Cori,” she started. “Thank you, for saving me. I know it was accidental, and I’m very sorry for the fact that you got hurt in my place… but me not being poisoned helped to possibly contain a riot. Had anything happened to me, there would be a risk of panic, and that’s something we can’t afford.”  
“I understand,” I said. “I’m glad I was able to help, even if it was dangerous.”  
“I would never ask that of you,” she said, and I could see the sorrow in her eyes. “If you had died, I would have hated myself every day. Until Miiko sent word that you were fine, I was pacing like a crazed woman through the halls. I’m so glad you’re okay.”  
“I’m sorry for worrying you,” I said, offering up a small smile.  
“Now that we have that out of the way,” she smiled slyly at me and I scooted away a bit, the blush rising again. “How are you feeling towards Ezarel? I understand he was the one who… you know. But the two of you seem to be growing close.”  
“I’m confused,” I admitted. “I’m still crushed over what he did, but I mean… at some point you have to stop being angry.”  
“Are you sure that you’re to the point where not being angry, or sad, or frustrated is okay?” she questioned. “You get to be angry as long as you want, you’ve earned that right.” I smiled slightly, nodding.  
“No, it’s tiring. It’s exhausting being angry all the time. I want to be able to enjoy everything around me, not be bitter and angry that I’m stuck here,” I admitted. “I have good friends, a warm bed, food in my stomach, a roof over my head. I may have lost all of the people who I’ve loved in my own world, but this? This is better than nothing, it’s better than being alone. At least here I have my friends and… and him.” I admitted, not able to meet her eyes. “Even after everything that happened, I still have him. And my friends.” The lame attempting at saving myself didn’t go unmissed, and Huang Hua smiled knowingly.  
“Oh, darling,” she muttered, taking my hand in her own.  
“Huang Hua, you told me that someones soul was glowing near mine,” I said, looking to her, a slight terror edging my voice.  
“You want to know who, don’t you?” she asked. I nodded, trying to quell the fear.  
“Was it Ezarel? Or someone else?” I asked. She sighed, letting go of my head, and stood. I stayed sitting, watching her carefully as she chewed her lip in worry.  
“It was him, but there was someone else as well,” she said. “Lieftan, his soul was glowing around you, too. But while Ezarel was pure white light, Lieftan’s was edged with darkness. Ezarel felt pure emotion, and Lieftan felt… obsession.” My eyes widened, and I wanted to crawl inside of myself.  
“Oh,” I muttered, looking away. The terror that had edged my voice in fear that Ezarel felt nothing for me had shifted away into an otherworldly terror that Lieftan would never leave me alone. I remembered those dark eyes, the wicked grin that had bore down on me the day he left.  
“When Miiko sent word that Ezarel would be coming to assist in an investigation about the individual who poisoned you, we started to do some digging. We found their entry point, we questioned the guards who had been knocked out, adjusted our security with regular changes so it’s not a strict, expected schedule. But during the investigation, it was suggested that Ashkore and Lieftan had planned this, as an act of rebellion,” she said. “It was only a suggestion, but considering the importance of the position I’m working towards, it’s a suggestion I can’t take lightly. I know it’s what Ezarel thinks as well, so… please, be mindful.”  
“I will be,” I promised.

A few hours later, Huang Hua had set me off while she went to a meeting, so I headed back to the campsite. Ezarel was urging Nevra back toward his own tent.  
“Seriously, Nev, leave my guard alone,” he urged, rolling his eyes as Nevra winked at a nearby girl.  
“Oh, dude, come on! A guys gotta eat!” Nevra protested, before turning and pointing at Ezarel accusingly. “And how can you say I need to leave the girls in YOUR guard alone, when you’re always batting your lashes at Corina? Next thing I know you’re going to be pulling out your ponytail and letting your hair flow in the wind at some lame attempt at seduction!” I held back a snicker, attempting to quell my imagination of Ezarel doing an Old Spice commercial, and crossed my arms as I watched them in amusement.  
“Oh my god, I am not trying to seduce Cor!” Ezarel said. “Just go get some sleep so you can actually help with temple reconstruction tomorrow.”  
“Nope, stop changing the subject! Everybody can see you’re flirting with her! Even Chrome, and he’s an idiot!” Nevra announced. I swallowed hard, my eyes focused on Ezarel.  
“Hey,” Chrome said, coming out of a nearby tent. “Don’t be rude.”  
“Chrome, I’m not flirting with Cor, am I?” Ezarel said. “Tell Nevra that he’s looking into things too much.”  
“You look at her lips when you two are talking, and despite your whole ‘no touching’ thing, you let her cling onto you on the way here, and on the way to Balenvia a few months ago. To me, that sounds like flirting. She could have held onto the saddle, but noooo, you had to have her cling to you,” Chrome said, going to refill his water skin. “Not to mention the fact that I’ve seen you go to reach to grab her hand and then stop yourself when you realize you’re doing it. Sounds to me like someone has a thing for a girl, and it sounds like for once it’s you and not Nevra.”  
“Sounds like,” Nevra went to correct. “Someone has a thing for a human who he forced to drink a potion.” I stood, frozen, waiting for his response, silently begging him to confirm. Tell them your soul glows around me, Ez.  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I couldn’t be less interested in the human brat,” Ezarel said. “She’s made things complicated since she got here, I’m wouldn’t complicate things mo-“  
“Cori,” Chrome said, taking note of me nearby. My jaw was slack in shock at Ezarel’s brazen words, and I could feel the sudden tears burning my eyes.  
“H-Hi,” I muttered. “Sorry, I was just heading to my tent.” I rushed forward, not willing to meet Ezarel’s eyes.  
“Cor, wait,” Ezarel went to say, reaching for me. I merely shrugged him off, dragging my feet across the uneven ground and through the flaps of my tent. My tent mates had yet to return from their daily activities, so I curled up under my sheets and allowed the anger and sadness to take over. Even if he had been lying, the pain was still present, and I couldn’t shake it.

Ewelein nudged me awake a few hours later, urging me to drink some water.  
“Chrome told us what happened,” Ewelein muttered. “Don’t take what he said seriously, he’s being an idiot.”  
“Whether or not I take it seriously doesn’t matter,” I muttered. “The fact that he said it, that he felt the need to lie about whether or not he has feelings for me at all, makes it seem like caring for me must be the worst possible thing he could experience.”  
“He’s been sitting outside this tent for three hours with his head in his hands, totally aware of the mistake,” Ewelein admitted. “I have never, in the time I’ve known him, seen him ripping himself apart over someone else like this. No girl he’s ever been involved with, and certainly not me, has had this effect on him. Except for you.”  
“He’s outside?” I muttered.  
“Please go see him. At least so he shuts the hell up,” Ewelein asked. “By the Oracle, he doesn’t deserve someone as sweet and compassionate as you. But you deserve someone who loves you, and will love you until their dying breath. I can’t say if it’s him, but somethings are just worth a shot.”  
“Thank you, Ewe,” I whispered, looking toward the exit. I stood, trying to comb my fingers through my hair, as I stepped out and into the chill of dusk. Not far sat Ezarel, head in his hands.  
“Idiot, idiot, idiot. You should have just admitted it,” he muttered. A sigh escaped him. “I’d give up six years worth of honey rations to fix this.”  
“Is six years really worth it?” I asked, sitting in front of him. He looked to me, his eyes slightly swollen and red. “Ez were you… had you been crying?”  
“Oracle, no,” he muttered, looking away. “It’s allergies, that’s all.” I smiled slightly, feeling a knot grow in my stomach.  
“What should you have just admitted?” I whispered, my voice trembling. I reached for him, my fingers grazing his hand. He looked to me, the tension melting off of his face. Those blue-green eyes met mine, and for the first time since I came to Eldarya, I was home.


End file.
